Army Catering Corps
Im Looking for => General => Topic started by: rubberguts on February 11, 2011, 06:21:38 PM
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That morning, little further away from where we stood, some poor bugger had drawn cleaning an Officer's car with a bucket of water, rain dripping off his groundsheet.
This was the moment two volunteers were called for Officers Mess duties, I had been forewarned in civvy street not to stand in the front rank during this particular parade and felt extra pleased to be concealed behind a lofty joker in the middle rank.
An Officer stepped out of the Company Office and called for volunteers for Officer's Mess duties. No one came forward.
Somehow I just knew I was to be the chosen one.
The officer looked around and said "You there. Fall out."
"Me sir?" queried the lofty joker.
"No the man behind you." said the Officer.
My heart sank. "I don't want to volunteer Sir" I protested lamely
"No, you don't understand lad." he said "You're not volunteering. It's an order."
The next fortnight was spent attending Officer's Mess duties.
One morning while lighting the ante room fire. Lieutenant Colonal Woolston Croft appeared early, He inquired how I liked army life. A question I now realize required an affirmative answer. I replied I didn't. He was taken aback.
For the "Holy Grail" of the Catering Corps to graciously lower his standing by engaging me in a polite conversation as an equal and to be met with such an ungentlemanly outburst of conduct was inexcusable, scarring me deeply, haunting me to this day.
One Mess requirement was to go to the Naafi shop on errands, We extended the opportunity to include loading up with a loaf of bread, butter and jam to share in the bed room.
My misfortune resulted in a mercenary attitude kicking in.
We rejoined the training programme, I had some bread left and toasted it that evening in front of the stove, divvying it around. After that, with regular trips to the naafi shop for jam and butter during lunch and with bread ferreted away at teatime (No one told us it had to be consumed within the confines of the dining room), hot buttered toast and jam was enjoyed by all. I overheard the dining room Corporal say he could not understand how they were getting through so much bread and that he had better increase the bread order. Continual replenishments were issued and,.... graciously received.
Sten gun training.
After instruction on how to use the sten, it was off to the close range firing area for practice, We stood in files a short way away from the life sized plywood figures of men. It occurred to me, firing across the necks, would cause heads to roll. and passed the word around.
Issued with twelve rounds, firing commenced to stifled laughter as some heads began hanging drunkenly. The NCO's were not at all amused and raced around panic stricken shouting at us,"Aim low, aim low. You are cutting the heads off." Which was, I thought, fairly apparent. The order to Cease fire was given, and a countermand issued to aim low, which was blithely ignored as soon as no one was looking.
We were doubled back for our troubles while the Nco's rode the equipment truck.