Pass The Jam Please.

[rubberguts]

'Who was responsible for sending jam out to the tables?" The question echoed around the kitchen.
Looking up from frying eggs for the Officers breakfast, I snapped up to attention and replied "I was Sir"  feeling pleased with myself.
"Well have it removed." said the new Messing Officer, "I will not have jam on the breakfast table." He went on.  "It's bloody uncivilized. Only Yorkshire men eat jam on their toast for breakfast."
Wheeling about, he disappeared.
The Jam was whisked away.
A short while later an irate Officer appeared from the dining room demanding jam.
Thus was my initiation into Officers Mess cooking.
The jam episode continued on for weeks. Jam was placed on the breakfast tables and removed before the Messing Officer appeared.
 One morning he arrived earlier than usual.
As could be expected, all hell was let loose with the cooks in the line of fire.
 The situation was resolved when the Mess Committee had the Messing Officer transferred, presumably to a Mess where traditions were upheld.
 Normality was restored to the mess with Jam once again appearing at  breakfast.
Happy Officers munched on their buttered hot toast and Jam whilst reading the newspaper and sipping tea. Some were even spotted resting elbows on the table.
 I raise my hat to the hapless Officer in his one man crusade to uphold the finer points of civilized dining.
 The jam episode stubbornly remains with me, causing a twinge of guilt whenever I shake a dollop of HP sauce onto my slice of breakfast toast.

 
One of the officers at the mess was given the nickname of "Flying Officer Kyte"  an RAF pilot rumoured to be a little "Bomb Happy." He was an inoffensive type and would appear  almost every day after breakfast and inquire of who had cooked the prunes. They were never cooked just quite to his liking. Having made his announcement he would depart without further ado.
Another was an Officer who regularly came into the kitchen and complained about the scrambled eggs. Avowing they were never the same as mum made them.